Monthly Archives: October 2010

About Offending friends and relatives visiting home,from the USA AND UK etc


Offending friends 
and relatives

Bikram Vohra (LAST WORD)

29 October 2010,

Are we sometimes unthinking about the way we behave when we go back to our home country — especially those of us who live in the subcontinent? Remember those occasions when we have unwittingly upset a friend or relative by something we have said.Like put on the A/C, it is so hot, I am sweating bricks. Like, doesn’t anyone care for hygiene anymore, how can you eat from the vendor? He is filthy. Sorry, I only drink bottled water.

Face it, there is no pursuit of excellence at home, we settle far too easily for too less, everyone is goofing off, that’s why the Games scandal occurred.

Judgements made by those 
who are passing through and really have nothing to do with the daily grind are arbitrary and not so nice.

I often think it is guilt that forces us to say and do silly things. If you are carrying bottled water or strips of Panadol, why make a production of it? Be discreet. Besides, it is a bit silly to carry bottled water, you can get it anywhere in the world. But I have met people who actually do bring along 
a supply.

In the next month or so, many of us will be making tracks for home and will end up casualties of the wrong thing said or done. In the wake of our visit will be upset in-laws, irritated brothers and sisters, hurt friends — and most of us will not even know why our sloshing goodwill went sour.

Because we don’t think, that’s why. In our desire to be liked and feel wanted once more we babble on inanely, saying all the wrong things with exquisitely wrong timing.

So, what I have done is list the seven major steps to avoid because they are slippery and fraught with danger.

Be grateful, because it is the outcome of tremendous research.

One, never patronise with a cheap gift, especially if it is to a senior relative. Everyone knows the genuine price so you are kidding no one with a two-dollar aftershave or a camouflaged ‘topped up’ cologne. Don’t ever give used stuff, people can sense it straight away. More heartburn is caused by giving bad gifts than by giving nothing at all.

Two, don’t tell friends how to run their business and drop brand names and electronic item model numbers at them. It is wonderful you know about the new IX7, you marvellous man, but you sound offensive when you display this irrelevant information. No one cares if your system has 24 functions. Or your phone doubles as a movie theatre, get over it. And don’t say ‘my Beamer’ or ‘my Merc’ or ‘Jag’ — that is so annoying.

Three, don’t show off about your foreign achievements, especially your lifestyle and your little collection of status symbols and your trip last year to Europe and the two days down to the Costa del Sol. It is boring, boring, boring and your friends will run away.

Four, don’t keep marvelling at how comparatively cheap things are as compared to abroad. You sound like you are slumming and that condescending tone will be registered. Expats at home do that gushing thing when they are out shopping: ooh, isn’t that super, I’ll take three, you know how much these were in London.

Five, never give business advice. You are out of the loop, you have no idea how things are in Karachi or Chittagong or Colombo so all your advice on jobs, the investments, the commodities are not worth a whistle in the wind. By the same token slow down on your advice levels on Dad’s health, Mum’s arthritis, the repairs to the house, the plot of land, taxes. You weren’t there doing the physical running around when the crisis occurred (hospitals, courts, lawyers, tax offices) so your rights are comparably curtailed.

Six, don’t be pretentious. Don’t call a brinjal an aubergine or baby cucumbers corgettes and speak of escargots in oil (no one eats snails in Delhi) or refer to the colour on the walls as Almond Essence or Pale Blanche, it is just white, plain flipping white.

Finally, don’t keep grabbing for the bill when out with old friends. You may have dollars in your pockets and you may even mean well but it is a sobering thought: they are probably richer than you and all your tribe, so don’t push it. If you do, what you are really saying is you are a better man than them and that is when you’ll find they don’t want to meet you again.

With good reason.


Why Raga is called idea.


RA as ppl following this must by now be sick of knowing is the name of the Sun God.
So the celestial or Sun timed singing could be the Ra-ga. ga of course means to sing.
And, as is well known, the ragas are timed according to the Sun! Such and such is the midnight (sun) raga, such and such is the 4 pm raga, the morning raga etc as also the ragas according to the position of the sun i.e. the seasons and the special day positions of the sun i.e the festivals!
Could be?
And would the word Roz(day) also be coming from say Ra-oz or something especially when Ramz in Arabic means to burn and Raml in Arabic means (golden?)sand.

Radha IS Krishna…and other things: Poonam Singh


about the stroke of midnight the Hindu priest opened the curtain and hid the deity Krishna. it was the point of time when Krishna was to be born. The priest went behind the curtain then.a few silent and dramatic seconds later, he emerged from behind the curtain and pulled it back. Lo, there stood the deity again for the new year! Krishna was there as before with his consort Radha, but with a difference:their forms were now wrapped with a single piece of cloth. They were as if one. They were a single form as if. It was the time of dark and light together it seems. I stood there thinking:is this what is meant by Radha is the very form of Krishna??That Krishna’s wife should not have been jealous of Krishna? That Radha did not really exist and so Krishna was not really nor was Radha adulterous?Why was there not the baby Krishna in the centre? Why was the baby only on the side, in the cradle to be lulled to sleep by the devotees? Definitely a relic of some ceremonies from over the ages, perhaps tradition brought by armies of settlers/looters?The devotees prayed in a strange style too. They raised their hands upwards of their shoulders with their palms turned OUTWARDS.And chanted something differently too.

Today while searching for something on the net i came across the concept of androgynous gods i.e. male and female form of the same god as a goddess or vice versa in the Pre Roman eras, the Greek or pre times.
The male control over affairs of the land and kingdoms and all that must have put females in the background initially. also, a new God needed to be adopted that was not like everything and everybody else–born of a woman. so the sun was said to be born of itself.
Although like all the others, the Sun must /may have also had a female consort partnering it equally. Everything being Ardhnaarishwar as Shiva in the Indian/continuum of Egyptian etc tradition was…
So, Rome could have been the male as well as the female god Sun?Sister-wife?daughter?