The Tourism Board Of India… HILARIOUS !! actual answers??

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Last one is the best…

Following are actual questions and actual responses by Indian Tourism
website officials, who undoubtedly have an excellent sense of humor.

Q: Does it ever get windy in India ? I have never seen it rain on TV,
how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around, watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India ? Can you send me a list
of them in Delhi , Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore ? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian
Ocean which does not.. oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa . Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in India ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India ? ( USA )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? ( France )
A: Indiana is a state in the United States of…oh forget it.
Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in
Goa , straight after the hippo races.

Q: Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK )
A: You’re a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore , and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan gatherers. Milk
is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
Most Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.

Q: Do you have perfume in India ? ( France )
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you tell me where I can sell it in India ? ( USA )
A: Anyplace where significant number of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.

Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? ( Italy )
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? ( USA )
A: No, we use sand paper. (We have different grades)

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About preetlari

"Preetlari", Punjab's magazine established in 1933 and published from Preetnagar, Dist. Amritsar. S. Gurbaksh Singh founded the magazine and also the model village, Preetnagar. The magazine is running in its 78th year and since last year is being taken by nearly 20000 primary and upper primary schools of Punjab ,too.

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